Cheyene Travels: Sister Finished Her Freshmen Year

As I got in the van mommy gave me a worried glance.  She knew that I was due for one of my sick fits and she knew I looked close to one.  I had packed my medication and lots of books (When the Touch of God Hurts by Dr. Thomas E. Bish, The Art of War by Sun Tzu, Es Personal: Diario Biblico por Steven B. Curington, Stronghold Study Course from RU, Nevertheless I Live by Steven B. Curington, The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, A Worthy Model by  Wendy Burks (in case I ran out of Art of War) and The Betrayal (Abram’s Daughters #2) by Beverly Lewis (in case I ran out of Sushi for One by Camy Tang on my kindle)) so I wouldn’t get board.

And I’m trying to write less.

I spent the whole trip very sick and relying on all the caffeine I could get my hands on to keep my blood presser up.  Meanwhile mommy is reading through When the Touch of God Hurts faster than me.

No one finishes a book before me.  I’m glad I read it too.  My health was perfect for the encouragement than it offered.

We got to the hotel and I go straight to bed as the room spun around me.  Grateful to be out of the van.  I soon had to go out to my sister’s college choir performance.

I sat there allowing the music therapy to sooth my pain and nausea.  Afterward we take my sister and her boyfriend out to Friendly’s. I had sorbet because I couldn’t handle ice cream with my upset stomach.

I didn’t sleep than night because my parents snored all night.  I set up my pillows the best I could to block the sound but nothing worked.  I spent the night praying for sleep and the salvation of Edward’s parents.

The next day I was better but still trying to be careful.  We went to my sister’s church took her and her boyfriend to a nice Italian place. The place had fresh bread before the meal and the dating couple was so cute as they broke bread together.  I finished When the Touch of God Hurts about this time before mommy.

I get a lot of book section of Savers.  I don’t buy a copy The Time Traveler’s Wife.  I know that there were scenes from them movie that were carefully shot.  I don’t mind reading “He took off his shirt.” I do mind reading “He took off his shirt showing…” so without someone checking the book before me I wasn’t going to read it.

We return to church that night and even though I had no sleep, I was awake during every sermon that day.

The next day I woke rested because the snoring wasn’t as bad.  We go shopping and while everyone else is buying clothes I bought more books. My total books bought when stacked on their side are taller than a foot.

We had the graduation of the senors from her school that night.  We went to Friendly’s again.

The next day the boys from the school lined up to say good bye to my sister.  As we drove home I had to keep my thoughts in check.  I finished my current play list before switching to my anti-addiction play list.  I don’t want to rely on music but I felt like it was a usable tool at the time.

Then we got home.

When the Touch of God Hurts by Dr. Bish

How many people have fought a good fight in round one, only to be knocked out cold in round two? Fighting the good fight of faith is not just about facing off with the devil and his crowd. It is about applying our faith to every trial and tribulation that life throws at us without wavering. The second time around may actually reveal far more about where we are spiritually than round one did. The good news is that the God who saw us safely through round one is still there when we go through it for the second time. “For he hath said, ‘I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Are you willing to trust Him with the second time around?

I have been blessed with how I’ve been handled since my relapse and how I relapsed. Edward was attractive enough to be a temptation and attracted to me to feed the thoughts from the flesh and a gentleman enough not to take advantage when I threw myself at him even though he had wanted me to and wise enough to not allow me to deal with it without help this time. I have an RU to go to and the AZ willing to enforce the rules. I’m not in elected office or the military.
If there was another man he could have taken advantage of the moment even without being an addict and hid the relapse for the same reasons I hid my addiction last time.

This is a retest in lust only applying it to males this time.

When the Touch of God Hurts is written by an amputee. He speaks of his struggle freely reminding me of grandma a lot. My medical struggles are small compared to his (I read a lot of the book while on the edge of passing out) but my biggest problem now is my addiction something God I believe wants to change. Unlike Dr. Bish I shouldn’t see this as part of me.

I was reaching out to Ryan last week and he painted what he thought was the ultement suffering for me. Having my sexuality change and fight sex addiction just not get married and remain celibate for the rest of my life. I don’t see it that way. My longing to to marry is something God will use even if He doesn’t fulfill it.

And I doubt its as bad as Paul’s thorn of the flesh.

I’m highly recommending this book.