Y’all have been great followers this term. Even a few of you joined during this time. I’m hoping you checked back a few pages and my testimony so you know my normal content.
They say college, especially Bible college changes you. I know that if you are the person changing that you don’t always notice the difference being made. So where do I beginning in looking for differences in me? I really have no idea but I could start with just the basics as I see them. And the expected changes I didn’t make.
More time in prayer
I knew prayer was important but never really got the idea of praying without seasing down well. I still don’t. I have learned that it is one of the best ways to keep a close walk; always be talking to the Father. I started by trying to maintain the sweet spirit of the girls’ dorm after revile. My life was lacking this so much. I should have been working more on this years ago.
No better at making friends
By this I’m referring to real life. I was known, as usual, for keeping my nose in my books and homework but I tried my best to be friendly. The only two girls seemed to really get to know me as a friend this term and seem sad to see me go home. But no one else gets close to these girls. I seem to have the have a chance to be friends with those that others have forsaken again. I wouldn’t give that up for all the real life friends in the world.
I never would have thought I would throw away my membership sci fi forum that Edward and I met on. But after realizing that the posts were just filling my head with garbage, I broke my ban on the site to deactivate my account. No one has said anything to me about it and I’m hoping to still be a part of their travel network. Every time I’ve used it, a forum member has heard the gospel. That is my one reason for having the account. I have Facebook for that now.
I joined Pinerest. Apparently this is a very feminine thing to do. I am still being a rebel and not starting a wedding board. Ha ha Internet!
The main reason I didn’t want to go to Northern Bible College was because my sister was already there and we don’t get along at all. This hasn’t changed. I will admit that when I first got there her harsh treatment of me caused a bit of talk among the students. I have good hearing so I could hear the buz it made on campus. There were days when I would check my room to make sure it was empty before crying. I wanted no one to know it hurt or that I still thought I deserved it.
A combination of my sister and the preachers’ warnings against disqualifying oneself for ministry stared pulling me down because my guilt was still there. Then y’all might remember when I seemed to embrace God’s forgiveness even more and despise that he still wanted to use me. That gave me a new resilience to my sister’s rejection and people who wanted me to stop going into ministry to these forgotten people. I also don’t live in fear of being kicked out of the dorm if a data leak happened and I wanted to be set aside for the Master’s use.
Trust had to be required for school and because mommy wasn’t there to voice my worries to, I only had God left. He never let me go hungry or without time to study or without a ministry moment. He even made sure I wasn’t doing too much in my own power. I’m learning more to just rest in His arms.
I still love them and still think wearing them isn’t a sin or cross dressing as others have said but I do see the results of not wearing them. It is a good conversation starter on spiritual things. But you can’t start with “I would rather wear pants” and still have the witnessing opportunity. If people get saved because I’m in a skirt, it is worth it. I’m home now and wearing jeans under a short dress. Feminine and modest while not looking like the world.