It was my last day at physical therapy now I have to maintain the strength I’ve gained by working the muscles at home.
Just like after I “graduate” from Reformers Unanimous I need keep up my relationship with God. God will keep growing me I know he will.
On Thursday I had to be picked up by the side of the road because I had gotten to the point where my knees wouldn’t let me keep walking. I had to tell my physical therapist about it the next day. He cause then focus the workout to better suit my weakness.
God knows our weaknesses but we have to admit that we have the weakness to allow Him to work. What is he telling you to that you need to work on?
"You’re too young for joint problems Cheyene," Mommy said as she dragged me out of the doctor’s office and handing me my coat.
I don’t argue with my parents’ choices for the most part but I should have that time. But God knew what He was doing by delaying my treatment.
Now as I go to physical therapy when I can use it to learn about gathering strength both physical and spiritual.
My bad walk hurt more than my knees. My therapist noticed that my side lifts are very week because of how I’ve been moving my hips. I’ve been told that the therapy will help my hips but I need to be mindful of them.
Spiritual weakness in one area of life can weaken other parts of life that you aren’t noticing yet. Ask God were you are weak and remember to do what you need for strengthen your faith.
At physical therapy I can look like I’m sleeping at times. If I have a towel under one of my knees that likely isn’t the case. I’m on my back pressing my knee into the towel. It’s a difficult thing for me to do because the muscles that allow a normal person to do it well are weak in me.
The point here is that as people grow in Christ we can judge them because we can’t “see” them doing something. Just keep praying that God guide them in life and leave it to them and God.
My bone was out of place again. Something that hardly bothered me before was driving me crazy now. My physical therapy was working and making me more sensitive to my knee getting out of place.
"I need to sit with my legs straight," I tell the group I’m with. I know how to keep from mistreating my joints now by being better attuned to what my knees needs.
The same goes for growing closer to God. You become more aware of the leading of the Holy Spirit and take better care of your spiritual health because you can hear him guide you the right way better.
The worse part of physical therapy is the bike. Other exercises I can get through faster by not resting long before my next stretch, pull, push or press. But on the bike no matter how fast I go, I don’t decrease the time it takes because I’m on it for a set amount of time.
Yeah, I kreein’ hate that bike.
I always came to trails saying, “God, please teach me my lesson fast so I can move past this.” While I think it’s ok to want out of a trail fast I think that sometimes God could be teaching us endurance. To withstand the devil and hard times for a long period of time.
Right now that reminds me of what I’m facing now. Addiction and feelings don’t fade over night. I’m going to press on as fast as I can but God might be working
After I was done with physical therapy for the first time, I was talking to Edward’s accountability partner. Edward is looking for a career in medicine and physical therapist hit me as his speed. Most time is spent one on one. I’ve been two more times and I still stand by that. In fact I’m loving the environment there and I think I know why.
I love a challenge that will improve me or a friend. But if I’m going it alone I have a bad habit thinking I’m doing nothing. In physical therapy, there is a challenging environment that I’ve improving my health (physically and spiritually because I’m trying to use it learn about “spiritual therapy”). Yes, it hurts but I’m already stronger.
I love it when I’m around some that I feel challenges my spiritually. They help me grow in God’s strength.
So I was going to say something deep but I’ve had 24 packed hours between me writing this and the event.
*mutters something about flat irons and 45 mins of being trapped by her sister*
Principle 7 Our sinful habits do hurt those who follow you.
I’m not an island. Even though there are times I wish I was and that people were more island like themselves, God doesn’t have us live that way. I wonder how much Edward and I have hurt the AZ because of our sin.
Second talk had me comparing physical therapy to RU. The challenge leader seemed to like that I was drawing similarities.
I got home from physical therapy today and had one thing other than my aching muscles; food and Gatorade. I have struggles to eat to get my weight up since for so long but now I’m finding myself hungry this week. I think I know why now.
As I was stuffing my face with a crunchy peanut butter in to my mouth I was thought of how this applied to my spiritual therapy.
If we are working in the Spirit than we feel the hunger for God’s presence more. I had read in Proverbs this morning that when one commits his work unto the Lord, his thoughts shall be established. That could mean that you want to spend more time thinking and and dwelling on the things of God.
Today I had physical therapy for the fist time.
Things that basic humans would find easy I struggled with and pain came from my sore joints. I was so happy I didn’t have to walk home.
But before I left, in to the world that I limped around in, my therapist reduced the swelling. I think I’ve learned something.
I’m in a type of spiritual strengthening so I can better battle against my addiction. It hurts. But before God sends me out into the field among the reapers again, He well give me a chance to heal.
"I don’t need medication," I reasoned. "I’m fine.
"No," Edward said. "You’re limping from the pain."
"But I get the pain everyday."
"So you have chronic pain. Take some medication and see a doctor."
Edward and I were known for arguing, but this was the first time we were arguing in person in front of people. We aren’t violent but we have minds that are hard to change.
"So do we leave so you to can either kill each other start to make out?" a visiting British friend asked.
"We could kill you," I think we both said at the same time.
Over the years I had let something change the way I walked. It was unhealthy even though I felt like it wasn’t limiting me. But it was and I had to get it checked.
Turns out I have a normal problem that can be fixed with physical therapy; a painful way to reteaching me how to walk right.
Isn’t that how it is with my addiction? I let a little lust in my life thinking that it was ok, maybe even even healthy because I was coming out of a lesbian way of life and not feeling any temptation from men. I let it alter my walk. Then I found a man that I wanted to help be free from sex addiction. I stumbled because I had altered my walk into an unhealthy one. Now I have to correct my walk. It might be painful but to be able to have God’s will for my life to the fullest I must.